In every possible way
by AGirlIntheGalaxy
Summary: Dean and Cas have an argument where the angel yells "I have fallen for you in every possible way! What else do you want from me, Dean!"


This was supposed to be my first story in english, but then "Bring 'Em Back Alive" happened and _Feelings_ (read it on crowley's voice) so I HAD to write "Come back to me", but now, after read it again and say "yeah, it's pretty decent" I present my first fic writen in english meant to be published. Like the last time, I apologize for any mistake in spelling ang grammar.

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 **In every possible way**

Dean and Castiel are arguing. Neither of them remembers why. It's probably because Dean asked Castiel to be careful or something like that. They both are yelling and bringing mistakes of the past up.

Sam is in the library, so he can't hear them, or doesn't want to. He is so tired of their bullshit.

Dean and Castiel have walked half of the bunker when the angel stops to yell "I have fallen for you in every possible way! What else do you want from me, Dean?!"

Dean stops too. "C'mon Cas, don't be dramatic… you haven´t…" and then, he freezes. "I just want you to be safe"

They end their discussion in the way most of their debates meet their finales; Castiel walks away, Dean goes to the kitchen to get a beer and then, to lock himself up in his room.

But there's something different about this one. Something that keeps digging on Dean's mind even when it's past midnight _. What did Cas mean? Is He…?_ Dean doesn't even dare to think about it. The words show silenced on his head.

" _I mean, c'mon_!" he thinks " _What can he possible know about that_?"

And that little worm keeps wandering around his thoughts until he falls asleep. Even his dreams are about the previous conversation.

Sam is surprised by Dean. His big brother up before 9 am? This gotta be a joke.

"Hey dude, what kicked you out of bed?" He asks, a sarcastic smile on his lips.

"What? You think you're the only one who likes to see the freaggin' sun comes up?" and with that, Dean makes some coffee for him and his brother.

Of course, Sam understands that as an answer. Dean must had screwed epically with Cas on last night discussion, and of course he doesn't know how to fix it. He could laugh at his brother, but that never had ended up well for him, so Sam just waits until Dean says something. That can be long.

"Hey, Sammy" Dean asks finally. His voice breaks in shy.

Sam looks at him, " _Wow… he is so screw"_ he thinks and says, "What's up?"

Dean takes a pause to think how to ask. He doesn't want to give much away, but there's a very small area where he can be safe. His mind fights its way to the right words "Have you ever… talk with Cas about the concept of 'fall in love'?" Even after saying them, Dean feels he gave too much information.

Sam lifts his eyebrows. Yeah, ok, that question is strange. "Why do you wanna know?" He asks, sipping coffee.

"I'm just curious… I just… you think he is familiar with the concept?" Dean lies.

"Well… he was kinda _in love_ with Meg if that is what you're asking…"

"Pff… That wasn't _love_ " Dean replies fast, his face shows disguise.

"Ok, ok, whatever. Honestly, I don't know. Why don't you ask him?"

"Because I'm asking you" It's Dean's awesome answer. They keep eating in silence, until the older hunter dares to ask his other upsetting question. "Do you think an angel can fall in love? And I don't mean Nicolas Cage _in love._ I mean like… you know, real feelings and stuff"

"Well, the movie is actually based on an old lore" Sam explains and before Dean can complain, He adds "Not that one… the original, that happens to be German. The lore says the first angel who felt did it because he was in love with a human." Sam says, then he drinks coffee and eats his cereal.

Dean freezes.

"Ok… and how accurate that… fairytale is?"

Dean won't give it a chance. Probably they just made that up, trying to get more audience to the movie.

Sam smirks.

"Dude, I don't know… I mean the knowledge about angels is minimum… even the men of letters have very little about them; and as far as I have investigated on the library, until their last books there were no actual contact with angels and the last one was from hundreds of years ago. And it was probably a demon."

Dean drinks his coffee and lets Sam alone. The youngest Winchester protest for the large number of dishes, but his brother is barely listening.

The hunter spends the next three hours in his room, searching for that infamous lore.

" _It is ridiculous"_ He thinks, before clicking the next link.

He has some experiences with angels. Others than Castiel. They all are cold blood dicks. As simple as that. Even Ana, who actually slept with Dean was like that.

" _I have fallen for you in every possible way!"_ Castiel's words slap Dean again. He analyzes them until his head hurts.

Every possible way. Maybe Cas doesn't know what "fall in love" means. Maybe it is just not possible for an angel, so, instead of saying "every way" he added the adjective. " _possible"_

That makes a lot of sense. Cas is always very specific and literal, so why not being so when he is acting like a drama queen?

That calms Dean a bit. And when the ache in his head leaves him, his chest starts to hurt.

Three days after that, without cases where to place his mind, Dean finds himself walking into the recreation room (where he insisted on install a tv), just in time for a "Doctor Sexy MD" chapter before Netflix cuts it off. But he had never been that lucky, so what he finds is Castiel sat on the couch, watching some old chick flick movie. " _Awesome"_ Dean thinks. Any other day he would just kick him off the room, or just convince him to change the tv. But not today. Basically, because they haven't properly talk and solve their last difference. And maybe because Dean still wonders about Castiel words.

"Mind if I sit?" Dean asks, precautious.

"Please, be my guess" Castiel says, without looking at him, truly involved in the movie's plot.

Dean takes a seat and watches the tv. But his mind is far away from Keira Knightley and her issues.

"So, you still mad at me?" He asks, tapping his fingers on his knee.

Castiel looks at him. His eyes are soft, and they wander over Dean face, studying his expression. Finally, his attention comes back to the tv. "I assumed we have given an end to that issue. Besides, it was days ago. I suppose is a forgotten matter now."

"Forgotten ain't the same as forgiven." Dean says, wondering why the hell he wants to bring the issue back.

Castiel smiles quietly. "Then is forgotten and forgiven"

Dean smiles as well. And maybe it's that damn idea still annoying him, but he begins to wonder why Castiel always forgives him so quickly. He knows he is an asshole. And he knows he has been an asshole to Cas. This time and several more in the past. His mind calms him, saying that maybe it is because Cas manages to understand Dean reasons. Keep him safe, don't start a new apocalypse, teach him the difference between classic rock and glam. Important stuff. But a few minutes later he realizes that's a lie.

"Cas…" he says. His hands sweating. "There's this thing you said… that… I didn't understand. I wanna know what you meant." He exhales heavily, hoping those words are enough to Cas understands what he means.

"Dean, we said a lot of things, and it was three days ago. I am happy to explain you, but I need you to be more specific."

Dean freezes. Again. Damn, that is happening a lot to him.

"When you said that you have fallen for me in every possible way." He says. Fast, ashamed of putting him and Cas in that situation.

"Oh, that." Castiel remembers, his voice is senseless, like he is being asked about the weather. "Well, you know what I meant, Dean. I'm a fallen angel, and I made that choice for you and your cause. Like many of the decisions that I have taken over the years I've met you." Castiel explains easily.

Dean gulps. "When you said ' _every possible way'_ …?" Dean doesn't dare to ask.

"Oh, of course. Well, maybe I was being a bit dramatic. You might understand humans and angels can't ' _fall'_ in the same ways." Dean finally breaths. But then Castiel adds "Humans can't fall from grace."

Dean's heart skips a beat. He wants to cry, but then, he looks at the angel by his side. So calm, absorbed by the movie. "Cut the crap, Cas!" He demands "Explain to me what the hell you mean!"

Castiel looks at him, utterly serious. "You, humans don't have grace, therefore, you cannot fall from grace. You can only fall in less painful ways." He blinks once at the end of his sentence and then looks back to the tv. The girl is running under the rain.

"Did you fall in love with me?" Dean asks, tired of all this.

"Of course." Castiel replies, his voice barely shakes.

"But Cas…" Dean tries to say something, and he fails. Because he doesn't know what to do with that information. Castiel looks so unworried that suddenly Dean is afraid he was a blind asshole. "Why you never told me?" He asks, his voice breaks. His throat is tight.

"Because I knew you didn't feel the same. And I didn't want to upset you or make you feel awkward." Castiel replies, his speech becomes slower. He is affected, but he won't show it.

Dean is far to focus on the content of the speech to notice the way it was delivered. _Past_. Cas said everything in past sentences. _Are his feelings thing of the past?_

"I'm sorry" He manages to say. Better late than never.

"Oh, don't be sorry, Dean. I'm not mad at you for that… look at them, he looks so hurt by her rejection." Castiel says, pointing the tv. Dean watches. The guy just proposed, and the girl rejected him, apparently not very friendly. "He fell in love with her and never showed it. Must be painful."

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I don't know much, but… come on Cas, you… you just said it. It must hurt as hell" Dean says, explaining why he is apologizing for.

"You never hurt me, Dean. I want you to understand that. Yes, I never told you about my feelings, because I know you can't feel the same way and I accept that. I tried to show you my love in other ways. I have learned ways to do it like couples does, without the romantic view. I've been with you at every opportunity you've needed me, I care for you, I listen to you, make you laugh… that one isn't that successful. And I'm fine with things like they are." Castiel says, glancing at Dean time to time, trying to read his expression. At the end, his hands are shaking.

Dean reminds silence. Castiel is no longer watching the tv. His eyes are on his hands, the little table, or the corner of the wall. His mind is trying to keep him steady, fighting against any impulse to break.

"Are you still in love with me?" Dean asks finally. His eyes fixed on Castiel face. The angel doesn't reply. "Turn the damn thing off!" The hunter demands.

Castiel does so, with his powers. He doesn't move. His sight is blurred.

"Dean… please… don't…" He tries to explain himself, but the tears are about show.

"Just answer me. You've told me everything, Cas. Just… just answer this last question. Please." Dean pleads, keeping together heroically.

"I can't… Dean, please… I can't"

Isn't that the best answer? But the man insists. "Why?"

"Because fall in love with you was painless without your rejection. I know you don't love me back and I can live with that. If… if you actually reject me, it's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt me more than any of the other ways I've fallen for you".

Dean swallows tight. His chest ache, and his stomach is a mess. He wants to throw things and punch a wall until it crumbles. He wants to get drunk and cry. He wants to hold Cas tight and never, ever let him go.

Castiel isn't crying, but Dean can tell he is fighting hard for not doing it. So, the hunter approaches to the angel, unsure of what he is going to do next. His hand lies on Castiel cheek and he finally meets the human eyes. Dean closes his; and slowly his lips reach for Cas'.

It's barely a brush. They both are afraid of other's rejection.

"I'm gonna make this up for you." Dean whispers, not sure if Castiel can hear him.

"How? You can't Dean… is…" Castiel sobers.

Dean kisses him again. A little bit more confident this time. "I'll fix it, ok? I'll fix it, because I love you" Castiel meets his eyes, he is still scared. "I love you in every possible way" Dean says, and his lips find their way back to Cas'.

Their kiss is long and slow. They taste each other carefully and for a moment, the world stops. Then, Dean's hand reaches the angel's thigh and finds its way up, squishing Cas' ass briefly. Castiel jumps and breaks the kiss, his face full red (what can he do? The poor guy isn't used to it) "Dean!" He complains without taking the big bright smiles on his face.

Dean smirks. "Sorry baby, but I ain't 'chick flick moments' kinda guy"

Castiel pulls Dean hair strongly. "I know." And he kisses Dean.

Deeper. Hungrier.

* * *

AN:

\- The movie that Castiel is watching is "Pride and Prejudice" (2005). For a reason that only Chuck knows it seemed to fit this story.

\- Nicolas Cage's "City of Angels" (1998) is actually inspired by a german movie called "Der Himmel über Berlin" (wings of desire) (1987)

\- I made up the lore thing.


End file.
